![]() ![]() It takes no special skill, just a very specific desire: To see things the way they see them, even if we don’t want to or don’t agree with them. And during conflict, empathic listening is a very rare animal.Įmpathic listening is learnable. How often do we listen with the pure desire to see it the way they see it, to step even briefly into their universe and take a look around? I suspect most of us don’t do it very often, probably not daily, perhaps not even weekly. Only empathic listening, to the right of Covey’s line on the continuum, is listening from within the other person’s frame of reference. First it requires hearing that is within the normal range of hearing acuity. ![]() Another definition is the ability to focus our attention in order to listen. That’s the point of view from which we listen most of the time. Most of us think about selective hearing as hearing only what we want or choose to hear. Everything to the left of that line, he said, is listening from within our own frame of reference. Selective Listening selecting only the information that the listeners identify as relevant to their own needs or interests (listeners may have their own agenda and disregard topics if they do not align with their current attitudes or beliefs). We’re paying attention but primarily to feel good about our good listening or our good advice.Ĭovey drew a vertical line between attentive listening and the fifth type, empathic listening. Selective listening is listening for the things that will serve us - listening for the holes in their argument, perhaps, or for other things we can use to promote our own position or point of view.Īttentive listening is listening so we can do something with what we just heard, like giving advice. Listening is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken. An active process of getting information, ideas. ![]() Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. Very little of what they say is actually registering and we don’t really care what’s on their mind. Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood. Pretend listening is a patronizing form of listening. Ignoring doesn’t sound like listening at all, but we recognize it when we’re on the ignored end of it: The other person continuing to type while we’re speaking, or checking their phone multiple times during dinner conversation. He described a listening continuum that runs from ignoring all the way over on the left, to pretend listening, then selective listening, then attentive listening, and finally to empathic listening on the right. Selective listening is a listening technique that filters input to achieve the listener’s goal. I once saw Stephen Covey speak about the types of listening. When you say you’re listening, which type of listening are you really practicing? Of the five types, there’s only one that that’s the kind of deep listening that helps you resolve conflict better, be more persuasive, and strengthen the personal or business relationship. ![]()
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